i do like you..

I could never lie to myself. I might be able to lie to the other. lying to yourself. but not myself. since then, when you get back there, I know my feelings are not right anymore. I look at you with different eyes. I know it's wrong, but the more I tried to realize, the more I fell into it. then what can I do? I just keep quiet. fall into the gentle touch that you gave to my heart. you're a jerk! how can you slip into my mind every day? makes no sense! and now what else? I feel happy when you were at my side. when you say the word "darling", the nerves in my brain was sending orders to my lips to say the same thing. but my lips is getting frozen.you make me calm when you call me. My anxiety disappeared instantly. I was flying, but sometimes I feel trapped. I'm such an idiot! I never dared to say yes just because I'm not sure of myself. I'm afraid to lose you, but I'm more afraid of losing my faith. and now, I do not even care what they say. as long as you're here, I'm not afraid anymore.
 
 and you ask "what exactly is our relationship now?"
 
boy, we have to meet as soon as possible, talk from heart to heart  about all these things ..